ONLY 1 CENT TO JOIN, BUT A LIFETIME OF DEBT

In the 90’s

Surviving on poverty dreams, summoned to the mountains

Unknowingly and with a lack of consent

I threw myself into a ice crystal monastery, On a dead end street

Invisible to everyone but me

Music came by mail

Only 1 cent to join, But a lifetime of debt

A days journey to town

For the chance of a possible glance, Another soul to affirm I possibly exist

In the store where the checkout clerk

Rolled her eyes at the WIC vouchers

And huffed at my debit card

Declined

Back home, MTV showed lands afar, But who’s Real World was it?

Surely not mine

A life not chosen, But stumbled upon

But I had committed , And could not leave

For there was No path, No Beacon, No hand held out over the cliff’s edge

So I stayed and created my own hand and toe holes

To climb up the sheer cliffs

I breathed life into my sails that laid in a heap on the ship's deck

I grew bones to hold me up and let the music guide my feet

To dance into my self lit sunset

And now

I stand at my secret altar in the forest

Where on a fall day at 7:54am

The sun shines directly on me

Onto the fallen tree behind me

I place another stone

Of things I no longer need

The debt has been paid

And I now chose where I reside